Apr 3, 2008

Contacting folks from the past...

In the past couple of years I've made attempts to find people from my past.

I've had very good results. In fact, I've found every person I've tried to locate...except one. I think that I've found at total of about nine folks. So, that's about a 90% success rate...you know, 9 out of 10.

Still, in almost every instance, it's been a little anti-climactic. I mean there's the feeling of success where you find this person, (such as the guy who went to school with my friends and I during 8th grade and is now in the air force - Hi Kurt! I'm fairly certain you don't read my blog but hello anyway!), and then...what do you say? If it's been decades since you've interacted with or been around someone it's hard to have a lot to say. It's hard to know what to talk about at all.

So, in the end, it's exciting and disappointing. The excitement comes from knowing that there's someone who was once a part of your life who's still out there and the disappointment comes from knowing that you don't really know this person any longer. Not in the same way and not in a way that really has any meaningful familiarity.

I actually found someone last night. A fella' I went to college with and was in some theater productions with. I sent him a message which I was able to verify was read...but no response. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I guess it's just satisfying to know they're there but it would be nice to get a response. On the other hand, as I just referenced, what would we say?

There's always this flurry of information exchanged, (such as with Ben, the kid I was in T.A.G. with in the Portland public schools who I traded e-mail with for a while), and then...it sort of trails off. It's like you take the time to tell each other where you've gone in life since you last knew one another and then...{shrug}.

It sort o' makes me sad. I've found that I really never get past those connections. I think most people do. I seem to mourn them to some degree, always. I guess that's good in some ways but bothersome in others.

I'm not really sure what point I'm making here...but, hey, I felt like saying it.

...I thought of a bunch more to say. Tidbits about folks who are sometimes in touch or only respond sporadically. Things about how there's a weight to a personal history that can only be measured by the person with the history. It all boils down to being sad that sometimes people leave your life and never return.

Wow. Heavy stuff this mornin'. :)

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